How the Grendel stole Christmas

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:14:53 GMT

The Grendel wandered down the narrow prison hallways, swinging a bag full of presents for the inmates. He walked up to cell #777
and turned to face the inmate inside. "And what do yoouu want for Christmas, Steve?"
"How do you know my name?"
"I know all kinds of things about you. Isn't that creepy?"
"Yeeahh."
"Well what do you want for Christmas?"
"I just want my family for Christmas, and to be out of this rotten jail cell.I miss the people I love so much."
"No. Whatever it is that you really want, I have it for you, right here in this bag."
The inmate stared, shocked at the Grendel's total disregard, and thought about what material possession he could possibly want. He finally thought of one that had meaning to him, but would also comply with the Grendel's limitation of being a material object.
"I want a vault of sky. An autumn sky."(whispering)"I lost it when I was a child, and I haven't been able to find it ever since."
"So let me see if I understand correctly. Your father locked you in a shed when you were 4 years old on Halloween. It was a bright day, and he locked you in a shed. You screamed and kicked and cried,but he wouldn't let you out no matter how hard you pleaded.
So you had to dig a hole underneath the door, but by the time you got out, the sky was pitch-black. And the sky has never been as blue ever since."
The inmate's jaw went slack."How did you...?"
"I know all kinds of things about you,remember? Well your story is pathetically significant, so I might give you what you asked for. For Christmas,you get..."
He put his hand in the bag. The inmate stared at the bag, wondering if he would get what he asked for.
"...A can of Hormel microwaveable chili!NEXT!
Steve stared at his new present, and suddenly realized.
"FUCK YOU, DAD!"

JOHNNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:09:11 GMT

I KNIFE JtHM

freak11magic

How the Grendel stole Christmas

JOHNNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC